Fuck! I forgot to bring my box of condoms to juggling club
Meeting on Fridays in front of Storke Tower, the group preaches their love of all things juggling and circus arts, but also their love for safe sex.
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Breaking: Hot Ticket UCSB holding group of average white men hostage
“Oh, it was absolutely horrible,” the Goleta Chief of Police Owen K. Bacon said. “From what Detective Rodriguez described, they weren’t even allowed their Sony headphones.”
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God Sends 10 Plagues to Isla Vista After Alleged Cancellation
Esteemed Nexustentialism reporter Roberto Gutierrez discussed this in his article “BREAKING: God Canceled,” but he failed to anticipate the possible ramifications of this cancellation — that bei...
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Spring Quarter Begins
Labyrinth: Grades Search
Aries
March 21 - April 19
You are a lingering runner's high, watching the sun rise over the cliffs
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
You are the cozy feeling the moment you wake up, nestled under the quilt you got from your grandma
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
You are the burst of inspiration (and motivation) at 3:42 a.m. in the library
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
You are the lopsided Sharpie heart on your Cajé latte
Leo
July 23 - August 22
When you take your shoes off at SBA security and know you're the hot, mysterious airport traveler
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
You are the rush after winning a debate concerning Domino's and Woodstock's
Libra
September 23 - October 22
You are the random wave and smile from a semi-familiar face on the way to Biochemistry
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
You are the first bite of a warm Subway sandwich after a long day
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
You are the relief of getting your feet wet at the beach in the middle of July
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
You are the first non-dining hall meal after a final
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
You are the final stitch in your quarter-long knitting project
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
You are the walk across campus to your favorite song on a cold day: "Sweater Weather"
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