The Daily Stench
Fourth years Elijah Borf and Daniel Rodriguez discovered this week that friend and housemate Ethan Roberts actually has a pretty fucking rich dad. This discovery ties a lot of loose ends together for ...
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The photo in question, which Romero will point to when referencing her boyfriend and telling new roommates and friends that she already has one, will be a printed photo from Snapchat.
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“Oh, this summer’s going to be an absolute movieeeeeeee! The time of our lives!”
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Following protests over the construction of the Thirty Meter Telescope on the slopes of Mauna Kea in Hawaii, Disney® Resorts has announced construction plans for a new Space Mountain™-themed roller...
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Breaking: It has recently dawned on incoming junior Marissa Torrez that close friend and housemate Alexandra Lee manages each year to somehow have all the internships. Amidst many Facebook posts voi...
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This just in: UCSB’s automated email-delivery service has recently broken a new record! It has been revealed that — for the first time — phishing scams now make up the majority of the not...
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First things first: it’s Gaucho Ball, not “Rage Cage” — show some school pride for crying out loud. Second things second: UCSB has officially qualified as Division 1 in our sacred drink...
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Summer school means that I take a lot of shits on campus, because I don’t have time to go home between classes, work and my internship. Therefore, I’ve compiled a list of the best and the worst re...
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In a recent report released by whatever lonely researchers are still on campus during summer sessions, it has been revealed that the incidence of lone tumbleweeds drifting through the streets o...
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Though many students think of summer as providing perfect day-drinking weather and not much else, it is also prime time for renovations across campus. As if there weren’t enough construction ...
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Second-year communication major Luke Hampton is spending his summer on the lowest possible rung of the corporate ladder and is having a really awesome time, in case you were wondering. Accordin...
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A little known fact about college is that it’s actually just like high school, if you can’t get in with the cool kids, you may as well be out. As the social hierarchy of our fine university...
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With summer just starting up, UCSB students are searching for that perfect darty outfit staple. One student, Teah Tee, found one that she claims “totally finishes all of her outfits” — a piercin...
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We’ve all heard it said that there’s nothing like a summer in Isla Vista. However, some Gauchos would rather skurt after turning in their last blue book and return to their hometown, feeling oblig...
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Famous survivalist Bear Grylls announced on Twitter last night that for his next television special, he would be spending a week in the bathroom at Buchanan Hall. “I’ve survived under som...
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You are a lingering runner's high, watching the sun rise over the cliffs
You are the cozy feeling the moment you wake up, nestled under the quilt you got from your grandma
You are the burst of inspiration (and motivation) at 3:42 a.m. in the library
You are the lopsided Sharpie heart on your Cajé latte
When you take your shoes off at SBA security and know you're the hot, mysterious airport traveler
You are the rush after winning a debate concerning Domino's and Woodstock's
You are the random wave and smile from a semi-familiar face on the way to Biochemistry
You are the first bite of a warm Subway sandwich after a long day
You are the relief of getting your feet wet at the beach in the middle of July
You are the first non-dining hall meal after a final
You are the final stitch in your quarter-long knitting project
You are the walk across campus to your favorite song on a cold day: "Sweater Weather"
