Multimedia

In Photos | Deltopia 2019

April 9, 2019 by Daily Nexus Photography

Daily Nexus photographers captured this year's Deltopia celebrations.
read more

I.V. Foot Patrol Declares Martial Law on Deltopia Weekend

April 8, 2019 by Max Myszkowski

Due to concerns regarding the drunken rowdiness, tomfoolery and other miscellaneous shenaniganz that have come to be associated with Deltopia celebrations, the I.V. Foot Patrol declared martial law in...
read more

Deltopia MIPs Ranked

April 8, 2019 by Katie Methylenedioxymethamphetamine

Everyone knows that Deltopia is like Christmas for cops, but instead of gifts, they’re giving out Minor In Possession (MIP) tickets. Though most noobs get an MIP for alcohol possession, we here at N...
read more

Medieval Man Causes Trouble at Deltopia

April 8, 2019 by L’rd Walt'r

Holla cater-cousins! 'Tis I, L'rd Walt'r de Bolbec, coming to thee liveth from the 68 block of Del Playa f'r an occasion hath called Deltopia! I has't hath heard it is quite valorous excit'ment and yo...
read more

Is UCSB a Party School?

April 7, 2019 by Peyton Stotelmyre

Breaking: Deltopia Moved to Fortuna! Rebranded as Fortuna-topia

April 5, 2019 by Billy McFartland

In an emergency meeting last night, Associated Students declared that Deltopia will be moved to Fortuna Lane in order to avoid the increasing police presence seen over the last couple years.
read more

Starbucks Runs Out of Non-Dairy Milk, Chaos Ensues

April 5, 2019 by Jordan Curiel

Tragedy struck Isla Vista last week, administering a blow to the student population right in the heart of their most coveted and vital survival tool: coffee.
read more

Campus Crisis: Storke Tower Goes Flaccid

April 4, 2019 by Max Myszkowski

Eyewitnesses have reported that Storke Tower, the proud phallic symbol of UC Santa Barbara, has – devastatingly – gone flaccid. The 175-foot-tall tower, which was first erected in front of the Uni...
read more

Student Curbs Coke Addiction, Crediting Rush He Gets from Submitting an Assignment 30 Seconds Before Deadline

April 3, 2019 by Katherine McCabe

Clint used to be the guy that slipped off to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so. Clint’s parents kept asking him where all his money went and why he needed to pick up extra shifts at Albertsons. Cl...
read more

Student Health Now Fully Staffed by Plague Doctors

April 2, 2019 by Ariana Marmolejo

In an effort to save money at the direct and immediate expense of student wellbeing, Student Health Services is pleased to announce that they have replaced all physicians and trained medical professio...
read more

UCSB Establishes Bike School for Student Bikers Prone to Accidents

April 1, 2019 by Emma Demorest

An influx of horrific bike accidents (in which many took to Free & For Sale to voice their grievances and describe the gory details of their injuries) has prompted local UCPD to implement the W.E.A.K....
read more

Sorority Girls Exclusively Comment “Mom and Dad” on Pictures of Unstable Relationships Only

March 29, 2019 by Tess Karls

We all know that one couple that’s consistently off and on. The guy frequently likes other girls’ pictures on Instagram and the girl keeps getting fucking pissed.
read more

Chad Simpleton’s Isla Vista Restaurants Review

March 29, 2019 by Chad Simpleton

Food, we all need it. Restaurants, we’ve all been to them. IV, definitely has ‘em. This cesspool of debauchery and dank memes is full of the best fucking foods to cure everything from a hangover t...
read more