Mind, Body & Soul

Let’s Talk Labia

October 9, 2013 by

Naomi Rea explains why you shouldn't fear your (or anyone else's) vagina.
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Just the Tips: The Hump’s Buzzed Wisdom

October 2, 2013 by

"Wednesday Hump" author Hayley E. pops open a bottle of wine and reflects on her freshman year.
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The Ins and Outs of UCSB

August 28, 2013 by

Dorms A good rule to live by: Don’t do your neighbors! There are literally thousands of people at this school who you can have whatever sort of freaky interactions you want with. The only people you...
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Some Things are Better Left in the Bedroom

August 7, 2013 by

A new app called Lulu allows women to anonymously rate and investigate any male friend or partner with nothing but a few clicks; potentially building or destroying a man’s reputation from behind a k...
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The Hurdles to Jump Before You Hump

June 26, 2013 by

The standards that girls and guys hold each other to are very different when it comes to evaluating the attractiveness of a potential partner. Traditionally, women are expected to be groomed, cleaned,...
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Humpin’ for the First Time: The Ins and Outs of Virginity

May 29, 2013 by

In an age where pornography is just a few clicks away, shampoo commercials are practically orgasmic and private areas can be bejeweled, one might consider the concept of “chastity” to be a thing o...
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If You Like It … Put a Label On It

May 22, 2013 by

In college, particularly in Isla Vista, we are encouraged to despise labels. You may be lying blissfully in bed when your partner of x-months asks you timidly, “So, are we exclusive?” Don’t pani...
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To Hump or Not to Hump? He Said, She Said Edition

May 15, 2013 by and

To Hump, or not to Hump: that is the question.   Coworkers Hers: Tread carefully here, fellow humper. Sure, you might run into that hunky hulk in the workplace, but odds are that your choice of l...
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Call of the Wild: Farewell, Four Walls

May 8, 2013 by

As a man once said, “Yeah, it’s fun.” I enjoy public sex for the same reasons I enjoy scary movies — the thrill of it. There’s a damn good chance someone is going to see your ass bobbing up ...
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Boobies, Booze and Batman: 3 Little Words That Make Men Melt

May 1, 2013 by

If you want to make your man happy, there is a deceptively simple three-part plan that is guaranteed to work one hundred percent of the time: show up naked, bring beer and put on “Batman.” I’m s...
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Gents, Tame Your Man-Mane… And Let Your Inner Lion Find His Roar

April 24, 2013 by

My doves, my pets, hello. I return to you with a righteous crusade at hand. I dream a dream of perfectly mowed, or at the very least nicely trimmed, meadows in the pants of men everywhere. Yes, you yo...
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Snowflakes, It’s Time to Explore Your Shades of Gray

April 17, 2013 by

This week: “alternative” sexualities and how completely normal they are. I’ve railed against the concept of binaries in thinking about sexuality before. This approach remains a sore subject for ...
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Get It Girl: Helping the 70 Percent Find Their “Oh”

April 10, 2013 by

“Not screaming euphoric hallelujahs during intercourse, ladies? Here are tips for a thirst-quenching, tsunami wave-surging orgasm—guaranteed.” It wasn’t written like this, but that’s what th...
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Quel Your Horn With Porn: The Merits of Spending Some “Me Time” in Cyberspace

April 3, 2013 by

To begin, I like porn. I watch porn. As your dedicated Humptress, it is my duty to divulge this to you. You may now sigh in relief. You are now either more holy than I and abstain or one of my brethre...
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K.Perry Got It Right: Kiss a Girl, You’ll (Probably) Like It

March 6, 2013 by

We’ve all been there: It’s a party, everyone’s hammered and the girls are getting extra flirty. Suddenly, there, among the filth of the fiesta, shines a vision. Angelic vocals reach a crescendo....
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