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Blue Traffic Lights: Religious Fanaticism Ignited Moscow Bombing

The Islamic terrorists responsible for Friday's bombing in Moscow probably chose the subway as their target for the same reason Palestinian terrorists choose buses. They are public spaces, filled with...
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Politics Renders the Tools of Love Flaccid, Withered

Politics is easily the worst thing to happen to sex since the institution of marriage. This is a problem for students, who get political before getting married, and hence, have some sexual considerati...
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Moffet Makes Illogical Case Against Janet’s Titty Tease

Do women really get that jealous about another women's breasts? I ask this because that, I think, would be the only reason for Amanda Maffett to get upset about the Super Bowl incident and, likewise, ...
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I.V. Action Group Leaves Students Out of Parking Solution

I read with some concern the article written two weeks ago article and associated Nexus staff editorial ("Leggies Hear Criticism of Arnold, I.V. Revelers," Daily Nexus, Jan. 29; "Surrender Your Parkin...
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Schmuck Hunt

Dick Cheney took the judge handling his Supreme Court case out for a hunting trip. They are saying this might, just might, constitute a conflict of interest. I'd say it does.
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Writings of the Chronically Brittle

A vast conspiracy exists against me; I'm convinced of it. I can't put my finger on a possible ringleader or a grand design, and I don't know what the intricacies of the plot are, but it's clear that t...
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Anti-Buttny Pamphlets Deliver Misinformation, Comedy

If you've received the anti-Buttny attack mailing titled "Can We Afford Any More of John Buttny?" I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Aside from the lovely, colored, glossy paper that the ad is pr...
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Just Big Words? Or an Egregious, Abominable Verbosity?

Working my way through my visual literacy reading this past week, I was unexpectedly engaged by one of the articles. I know not many people regard weekly reading as enthralling as other activities.
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Artsweek Further Exposes Janet’s Star-Spangled Boob

I feel that it was in very ill taste to display five images of Janet Jackson's bare breast in the Artsweek section of the Feb. 5 edition of the Daily Nexus.
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Wear a Helmet or Splatter Your Brains on the Street

I'm not sure why it is, but, after repeated random observations, I've become aware that hardly any students wear helmets while riding bicycles.
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Guy With a Fez Hot Line

You've seen him on campus, walking around with what looks like an upside-down flower pot on his head. But don't think this distinguished gentleman has lost his mind. Instead, he's wisely chosen to ado...
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Bozo Goes to Washington

Martha Stewart is getting ratted out by a temp who overheard some insider trading action. She should have known trusting one of those urban drifters was not a good thing - they'll drop dime quicker th...
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A.S. It Is: National Leaders in Change

In 1964 UC Berkeley was flooded with pools of students who stood on police cars surrounding Sproul Hall. These activists turned their heads away from authority and instead gazed up at the student lead...
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Prohibition Didn’t Work and Never Will

First off, I'd like to say that I do respect our law enforcement. I'm fully aware that laws are necessary for our society to function and it falls on someone to enforce them. I think that, for the mos...
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What’s Your Problem?

"I think I might be autistic. People just tell me, 'Hey Chris, seriously, I think you're autistic.'"
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