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Super Stupor, Floppy Hooter

February 4, 2004 by

How about Janet Jackson's righty? That thing was corny looking. It looked like one of those fake feet that people have hanging out of their car trunk.
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Ass-Baring Embarrassments

February 4, 2004 by

Bizarre sexual experiences happen to people all the time. You can either watch them in a porno, read about them in some tabloid magazine or wait for the next Paris Hilton sex video on the Internet.
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Howie Dean’s Record Screams Very Well of Him

February 4, 2004 by

Just when it looks like the Democrats are finally ready to reject their accommodating past and nominate Howard Dean, a candidate who time and time again has unashamedly stood for democratic principles...
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Bush’s Credibility Was a Casualty of the Iraq War

February 4, 2004 by

In the opinion article that appeared on Monday, Feb. 2, "Tallying Victories of the Iraq War," (Daily Nexus) columnist Joey Tartakovsky does a good job towing the Bush administration's line that becaus...
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Not Believing in Racism Is Like Not Believing in Brain Cancer

February 4, 2004 by

Have you been accused of putting words into someone's mouth? This is due to misrepresentation, an act every human commits. However, there is a thin line between misrepresenting someone and misrepresen...
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Damn Skippy: Oh, Those Sneaky Opinions

February 3, 2004 by

Getting to the point, what I'd like to accomplish with this column is to spread disrespect. It's not a nice thing to do, but healthy nonetheless. Respect for the opinion of many pundits, especially Mi...
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Our Mamas Didn’t Want Us

February 3, 2004 by

Yeah, I flaked and passed out before I filled yesterday's box. But, hey, everyone makes mistakes - this office is full of them. Thanks to the 'neanderthal for filling yesterday's space and the morons ...
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Look Out, Free Speech – Here Comes an Election!

February 3, 2004 by

Every year, we receive complaints from students and student groups about various posting concerns on campus. During election season, these complaints often involve nefarious activities and shenanigans...
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The Artful Dodger: Stupid Thoughts While Pondering the Essence of Idiocy

February 3, 2004 by

It has come to my attention that some of you are stupid - that is, the slow, the dense, the willfully ignorant, the ones who just don't get it. I think we can all agree that the university, an institu...
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Yay for Rescue Workers, Boo for Nocturnal Firebugs

February 3, 2004 by

At about four in the morning Sunday, I was woken up by the sound of some drunken shouting outside my window. This has happened before, so I didn't pay attention to the drunken jackassing around that w...
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Surrender Your Parking Spot!

February 2, 2004 by

You, your boozer friends and your shitty car just aren't welcome, apparently. As part of a plan to reduce the fun out-of-town revelers have in Isla Vista, Academic Senate Chair Walter Yuen proposed to...
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Slope-browed Interlude

February 2, 2004 by

Dear readers, the Weatherhuman was not to be found on Superbowl Sunday, most likely because the human was not answering the phone at the Fortress of Inebriation.
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Blue Traffic Lights: Tallying the Victories of the Iraqi War

February 2, 2004 by

One of the things that made Saddam stand out as a dictator among dictators was that he liked to partake in his tortures, not just command them from above. In one video recording, he sits and watches a...
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Houston… Hellhole! Hut! Hike!

January 30, 2004 by

The only forecasting that matters now is the Super Bowl kind.
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Only Use Pot Responsibly

January 30, 2004 by

In the article "Don't Waste Money on Weed, Make Money With It," (Daily Nexus, Jan. 28) Joel Furman discusses the anti-drug commercials that pollute our airways and waste our desperately needed tax mon...
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