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Nexus Election Endorsements: Governator

October 6, 2003 by

Ah, the least of 152 evils. Picking Cruz Bustamante as the best candidate to replace the present governor is like spotting the least soiled corner of a discolored Motel 6 mattress.
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Nexus Election Endorsements: Prop. 53

October 6, 2003 by

Proposition 53 is the closest thing to being boring to the point of death that anyone at this office has ever encountered. An interesting scheme, really, if its intent is as malicious as its possibili...
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Nexus Election Endorsements: Prop. 54

October 6, 2003 by

Although UC Regent Ward Connerly would like for the ethnically diverse state of California to cease differentiating between black, white, brown and every other shade of skin color, a ban on racial cla...
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Bus-ted

October 3, 2003 by

Watergate, Monicagate, Fajitagate. And now a scandal to top them all: Bus Gategate. The label "scandal" possibly casts too poor a light on a simple device, but the gate installed to allow only Santa B...
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It Wasn’t Funny Anyway

October 3, 2003 by

A weatherhuman and its readers have nothing without trust, so I'll be up front with you. The words you read in yesterday's weather were not mine-somebody fucked up and my words were lost.
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Arnold Schwarzensexist

October 3, 2003 by

Let's start with a few recall election truisms. A week from now, the zany recall circus will be over and California's tax-loving, business-loathing government might just be in the hands of family man ...
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Drugstore Cowboy: Medicinal Mayhem in the War on Cannabis

October 3, 2003 by

The war on drugs has sunk to a new low. Last Sunday, Sept. 28, the San Joaquin County District Attorney's office filed charges against Aaron Paradiso, who lives outside of Stockton. Aaron is a quadrip...
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Presidential Hopeful General Wesley Clark Isn’t All He Claims to Be.

October 3, 2003 by

This is the story of 135 power-hungry status seekers, seemingly chosen at random to take part in the latest and most embarrassing display of political absurdity this side of the 2000 Presidential deba...
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Disposing of the Evidence

October 2, 2003 by

By now, many of you have undoubtedly heard about Proposition 54. This initiative, which is backed by Ward Connerly, the UC Regent behind Proposition 209, proposes to ban the state of California from c...
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Check the Weather Before You Leave

October 2, 2003 by

The weathercomputer is on the fritz once again. The friendly technical support representative diagnosed my grumblings as resulting from a faulty motherboard.
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Student Groups Can Help You Prevent Sexual Assault in I.V.

October 2, 2003 by

The recent sexual assaults in Francisco Torres and Isla Vista are incredibly scary, life-changing events for the women involved. Unfortunately, sexual assaults are much more prevalent in our community...
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Flip Flop

October 1, 2003 by

Did you get a chance to catch the wisdom of Paul Watson, write-in candidate for governor, as he spoke before a crowd of half-dozens in front of the UCen?
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Ejaculation Is for Girls Too

October 1, 2003 by

My best friend and I were having a heated debate over the validity of female ejaculation. Having never experienced a gusher before, I rejected his idea that they are real.
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Isla Vista: A Slum of a Most Memorable Character

October 1, 2003 by

When I say that I.V. is a microcosm of America's worst and best, I mean a lot of things. American lifestyle, history and attitudes manifest in these harsh Santa Barbara conditions at levels seen littl...
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War, Recall and Hell’s Hostile Takeover of Earth

October 1, 2003 by

Truth may be the first casualty of war, but just because it's dead doesn't mean you have to drag it down the street with its guts trailing behind it as double-jawed hyenas gnaw on the gristle.
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