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Genes for All Seasons

It began in the May of 1985 when Robert Sinsheimer, who currently works at UCSB, called a workshop at UC Santa Cruz at which scientists discussed for the first time the possibility of mapping the huma...
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Readin’, Writin’, ‘Rithmatic

I have a bone to pick with the quarter system. Depending on the courses I take, I probably have somewhere between 100 and 300 pages of reading to do per week, per class.
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Pushing the Envelope

Postage goes up because of people like me. I only buy stamps out of absolute necessity, and I refuse to purchase an entire book of them for any reason.
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Move Over, bin Laden

Prior to hopping on that nonstop flight to Columbus, Ohio, we did get to experience the new holiday tradition. Everyone is a suspect. Ever since my five-year-old son was pulled out of line and asked t...
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Personality Is Not Negotiable

It's true. Like hangovers, midterms and the occasional chlamydia flare-up, subleasers are a necessary evil of college life. The search is like looking for a kidney donor.
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Activists: Don’t Give Up Your Day Job

If you've walked around Isla Vista recently, you've probably seen the graffiti making this claim, along with the one that politely asks you to "Please Wake the Fuck Up" as you enter campus near the HS...
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Pet Owners Shouldn’t Let Campus Greens Turn Brown and Yellow

Next time you take a seat on one of our beautiful UCSB lawns, consider whether the glistening of the grass is the dew left over from the salty sea air or a salty puddle of urine from a dog's midday pi...
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The Quality of Online Registration Is Less Than Gold

Having witnessed my son use the Web-based registration system twice, I am appalled by how it violates numerous rules of good user interface design that we routinely teach in our computer science and e...
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Ethics for Sale

I bought the reader for my ethics course today for $90. It's nonrefundable. I can't sell it back. And when I balance my checkbook, I'll probably find I can't eat either.
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Living Without Vowels: I Think I’m a Clone Now

The Internet is a fun place to play. You can find pretty much whatever your heart desires there. How about a little peace of mind that your genetic material will continue forever and ever once you kic...
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For Some, There Is Beauty in the Beast

"Man, I need to get laid." Walking down DP on a Saturday night, this might be a typical comment for a frat boy. However, when driving your somewhat neurotic frat brother back to Berkeley in the middle...
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Postcards from the Edge

The Central Valley is a strange place. It is that neverland of California that never appears in Hollywood movies, unless of course it can be disguised as the Sahara Desert or an obscure feature on th...
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In the Political Circus, Enter the Clown

My faith in the political kook factor was once again restored, thanks to none other than Reverend Al Sharpton and his announcement that he will be throwing his hat in the ring as a contender in the De...
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No Money Down, No Interest For One Week

This week, 20,000 students return to empty cupboards and new classes. This means an all-around run on any local stores that stock textbooks or Top Ramen.
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Drugstore Cowboy: Have a Bushy New Year

Like many others who can't quite effect change in themselves, I have decided instead to criticize others. In that vein, here are some resolutions for the people who are in a position now to better not...
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