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Get a Chest X-ray

I sat next to the coughing guy in class yesterday. Every class has one this time of year. He'll be there 'til February, occasionally trading shifts with the coughing girl.
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Follow These Few Oral Truths on Your Way to a Satisfying Burrito

Oral sex is something most women long for but are often deprived of. It seems in these sad and scary times that many men think lickin' some box is demeaning and not something to be proud of.
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Dear Chancellor Yang, Quiet Hours Should Apply to Everyone, Including You

Being a member of the 1300 hall of Santa Cruz has its perks, to be sure; and yet, we find ourselves needing to say something.
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Show Some Love for Our Unstoppable Volleyball Gauchos

This Friday night, the UCSB Women's Volleyball team hosts Long Beach State, its biggest rival and the only team that has a chance to upset the Gauchos in the Big West championship race.
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Student Voters Can Make a Difference in County Elections

During my years at UCSB, we fought for students' right to vote in local and national elections. So please use the hard won privilege and the power.
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Recall Marshall’s Record

Marshall is an important piece of a political machine that exists in Santa Barbara County seemingly to manipulate and abuse UCSB students and Isla Vista residents.
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Essay

I am writing a paper for a certain social science class tonight and I seem to have lost the assignment sheet. Rather than researching, I have developed an exciting new social science theory. I call it...
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Vandalism Reveals the Power of Your Average Isla Vista Ass

It just appeared there in shining, bright orange, stenciled lettering one morning. My hubcap says "Power Ass." Somebody, it seemed, put a lot of effort into this graffiti. But what could it mean?
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In Defense of Our Address

Together we, the residents of 6668 Del Playa Drive, write this editorial both in defense of our house and reputations, and as concerned members of the community.
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A Bush by Any Other Name

Do you remember when you were a kid and had to learn the difference between Franklin and Teddy Roosevelt? Or that Grover Cleveland's terms weren't consecutive?
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Let Students Vote Where They Shed Their Blood, Sweat and Tears

What Justin Ruhge is requesting of the UCSB student population is misleading, false and inappropriate, as well as undemocratic and unconstitutional.
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Daily Nexus Should Show More Pride for Student Organizations

I was disappointed that the Daily Nexus chose to report on an event that occurred in downtown Santa Barbara at which only 20 people attended.
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For Better or Worse, Support Your Union When It Supports You

You complain that the clerical union automatically covers you, even though you don't want us. The other side of that coin is that maybe we don't want you either.
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Take Some Time to Think About Alcohol Safety and Responsibility

This week is National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week. Take this moment to reflect on what you did this past weekend. Perhaps you drank a little bit. Perhaps you drank quite a bit.
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Ow.

Weather-update: I have discovered the purpose behind the ill-placed muff-thumping, sack-attacking turnstiles in the library.
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